Life as a Fellowship
by Hungry Hobbit
Summary: Life as a Fellowship is reposted! Frodo looses his marbles, Boromir is missing and Gimli is superstitious! What else could go wrong! Read to find out.
1. First Chappy!

** Life as a Fellowship** **Reposted Story  
**  
A/N: Heya! If my story sucks feel free to flame me. But please, please, PE- lease give me a chance... even if my story does suck cause it might get better with your help. Thanks!  
  
Hungry Hobbit  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It was a typical day at the fellowship's house. Frodo was playing with his marbles, Merry and Pippin were at their golf lesson, Legolas was at a Tree Hugging meeting, Gandalf was sniffing smelly markers, Sam was cooking, Aragorn was watching TV, and Gimli—well nobody exactly knew where the dwarf was at the moment. As for Boromir, had been gone for a while now, and nobody knew where he was either.  
  
Aragorn was sitting in front of the TV switching from Sharon Osborn and Scooby- Doo, while balancing a beer bottle on his stomach. It suddenly dawned on him that it was 11:00 am on a Wednesday and he wasn't at work.  
  
"Why aren't I at work?" he asked himself out loud.  
  
"Because that's how Hungry Hobbit made it," the hobbit Frodo informed. "The author," he added, knowing Aragorn had no idea what he was talking about. The man had a blank look on his face but he managed to say,  
  
"Oh." Not that he understood what a Hungry Hobbit, well he did, but not in the way Frodo ment it, but he just didn't care.

* * *

Legolas pressed the 'UNLOCK' button on the cool little machine thing attached to his keys and the trunk of his Porsche popped up.  
  
"Dam it!" the elf cursed. He had been meaning to get that fixed. He closed his trunk and then pressed the 'OPEN TRUNK' button and the doors unlocked. Before getting into his fresh pinecone smelling car, he pulled the yellow parking ticket off his windshield and put it in the passenger compartment along with the other few dozen tickets.

* * *

"Fore!" Someone yelled as he hit the golf ball somewhere on the field.  
  
"Why do they yell four?" Pippin asked Merry, his cousin/best friend. "Why don't they yell five? Or ten? Or Vegetable?"  
  
"Because, Pip," Merry said in a matter-a-act way.  
  
"Because why?"  
  
"Erm, because some guy was playing golf and he had four fingers—"  
  
"So he had two fingers on each hand?"  
  
"No, he had four fingers on each hand—"  
  
"So he had eight fingers! What fingers was he missing?" The smaller hobbit asked as he adjusted his grip on his golf bag.  
  
"I don't know! All that matters is that he had four fingers. When he hit the gold ball it, erm, landed on someone's head, then it, erm, bounced of three other peoples heads, making it four heads... yea that's it!" Merry said proudly. "Oh," Pippin nodded showing he understood but he actually didn't. "But what does it have to do with his fingers?"  
  
Before Merry could try to answer his friend/cousin, a large man came along, wearing a kilt and a funny hat with a bushy pom-pom on top of it. He stopped them and said in a Irish accent,  
  
"'Ello chums, what may 'e be lookin' for?"  
  
"We're here for golfing lessons," Merry announced, pointing at the nametag he had pinned on his shirt that Gandalf had made him with his new label/button/nametag maker.  
  
_**Hello My Name is  
Merry  
I'm here for my first golf lesson**_  
  
"Right... Well then lads, let's get too it! Put 'ees on and let's get golfin'!" The man said, and handed the two hobbits matching kilts and pom- pom hats. "I'll be your instructor. Cotton Me-Arse is the name!"

* * *

Legolas parked his silver Porsche, quite badly, in the Fellowships' driveway. He stepped onto the porch and picked up a random frying pan that was on the ground before stepping into the house.  
  
"Sam, how many times do I have to tell you that if you want to keep your stupid frying pan collection you have to keep them in the kitchen or your room!" the elf yelled at the hobbit who appeared to be experimenting with his cooking again. "If I find another one of you pans somewhere they're not suppose to be then I'll personally take them to the dump and watch them go in the garbage shredder thingy!"  
  
Sam looked as though he would cry and looked for comfort from Frodo who was sitting on the kitchen floor, but the hobbit gathered all his marbles in his purple velvet bag with P M B written on it in gold, and ran to his room before Sam had a chance to hug him. P M B stood for Pretty Blue Marbles, which was strange because the majority of Frodo's marbles weren't blue...  
  
"Bad day at the Tree Humping meeting?" Aragorn asked the elf, who was already in a pissy mood.  
  
"It's Tree Hugging!" the elf snapped at the human. "And yes. That stupid cow Britney was named Tree Hugger of the month again!" Legolas said angrily and slumped down on the couch next to Aragorn who was pretending to be interested in what the elf was saying.  
  
"Mmm, yea, that's too bad," he said and took a gulp of his beer.  
  
"Who the hell does she think she is? I bet she sleeps with the president of the club! I mean all she does is plant a few -**cough-** hundred -**cough-** trees a month, while I always use friendly environment products, I recycle, and I actually hug the trees in the park!"  
  
"Mmm that's nice," the man sighed and flicked through the TV channels. He finally stopped on Regis and Kelly (a/n: don't know if that's how you spell his name, but you guys know what I'm talking about, right?), the only show that seemed to be the least bet interesting at the moment.  
  
"...I bet she doesn't even like trees—hey, Regis and Kelly! I love this show!" Legolas perked up. "Kelly has such good taste in clothing." Aragorn rolled his eyes and tried to change the channel but the elf snatched the remote from him. "Estel, this is a good show. It's better then those silly cartoons you watch and they always interview really interesting people," the elf insisted and placed the remote on the coffee table.  
  
"I don't even like Orlando Bloom," Aragorn muttered.  
  
"They're going to interview Orlando Bloom? People say I look like him," Legolas said proudly.  
  
"You don't look like him."  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
"No you don't."  
  
"Yes I do!"  
  
"You clearly don't. He has short brown hair, brown eyes, and—"  
  
"Shut up! You're just jealous!" the elf snapped.  
  
After a few moments of tense silence, Aragorn piped,  
  
"Am not."  
  
TBC  
  
Next time on Life as a Fellowship, Merry and Pippin begin their golf lessons, Gimli goes to the library and Gandalf figures out what he wants to do with his life.  
  
Is that a review button I see? Indeed it is! Let me know what you guys think. Next chapter will be up shortly.  
  
Hungry Hobbit


	2. The one where Merry and Pippin go golfin...

Reposted Story  
  
A/N : Heya! Sorry about the delay but my computer has got that stupid virus the guy from Germany started. Arg! My computer is still pretty messed up so the chapters won't be as long or frequent as I'd hoped...not until I get rid of the virus. Anywho, thanks to those who pointed out my spelling and grammar mistakes, I'll change them when I get the chance. I would just like to warn everyone that I suck at spelling and totally don't get grammar. I'll try to improve them for future chapters but they probably won't get any better...but c'est la vie! If someone would like to edit my chapters to make sure the spelling and grammar are ok so that my story would actually make sense, then that would be a great help. Let me know if anyone's interested.  
  
So here's the next chapter. Hope you all enjoy it!  
  
Life as a Fellowship  
  
Chapter 2  
  
"Alright Hobbit lads, let'm go!" Cotton Me-Arse yelled. Pippin, dressed in his kilt and funny pom-pom hat, swung his club in attempt to hit the ball and yelled,  
  
"TWO!" Accidentally, the hobbit let go of his club as he swung and it went flying in the air, hitting one of the trees on the golf course.  
  
"If Legolas were here he would kill you," Merry informed his friend/cousin casually, as he examined the small abused tree.  
  
"_If_ Legolas was here. _If_," the other hobbit pointed out.  
  
"We've been over this before! Don't let go of the club! And stop yelling random numbers!" Cotton yelled with his thick Irish accent.  
  
Pippin looked blankly in the man in the kilt. From what he understood, you were supposed to yell the number of people around you who could possibly get hit by the golf ball.  
  
"Merry, you're up lad," Cotton snapped, due to his annoyance with the 'Wee Folk'. Merry raised his club but before he could swing Cotton grabbed it a growled, "Now remember. Don't let go. And its fore, not three, not five, not mushroom, but fore." Merry gulped; so far he hadn't been able to hit the ball or even hold onto the club.  
  
$ % $ %  
  
There was a loud bang at the Fellowship's door, and then a second later Gimli opened it and ran into the house. The dwarf had once again forgotten to open the door before going inside. Nobody paid any attention to Gimli, even though the dwarf was all sweaty and out of breath because he had run all the way home—with a few breaks here and there.  
  
"You will never believe it!" he cried. Again, nobody paid any attention to him, but Gimli either ignored it or just didn't realize it. "I was at the library, and—"  
  
"Whoa, what were you doing in a library?" Legolas asked in shock, he and Aragorn's attention turning from the TV to the kitchen.  
  
"Since when do you go to the library?" Aragorn questioned him.  
  
"Mr. Gimli, are you sure you weren't at the mall and accidentally walked into a book store?" Sam suggested.  
  
Gimli thought of it for a moment, but he was sure he had gone to the library.  
  
"Yes I was at the library! How is that so hard to believe? We dwarves are natural scholars! Very smart we are. In fact, my father was—"there were sniggers coming from the other three and Gimli let out a growl. "Dwarves are smart! Smarter then elves!"  
  
"Oh yea?" Legolas tested. "Tell me, O-smart-one, who invented Post its?"  
  
"Erm...Well that's not the point! What's important is the discovery of this." Gimli pulled out a book from his Star Wars backpack.  
  
"Super-stition-s-for-dum-mies," Aragorn sounded the title out. "Oh! Superstitions for Dummies! Yea I knew that!" he cried out proudly.  
  
"Yes. Yes. This is what's been missing from our lives, my friends. The answer to all our bad luck is here in this book," Gimli said, holding the book up proudly. The other three remained in a stunned silence, until the elf broke it.  
  
"I still want to know why Gimli was in a library." The dwarf huffed, marched away, muttering something about elves, and walked into his bedroom door... yet again.  
  
"Who did invent Post its?" Aragorn asked. Legolas shrugged.

&$&$&$

Merry and Pippin rode home on their tricycles after their first Golf lesson. They were now wearing their regular clothes, but Pippin insisted they wear the funny pom-pom hats. Merry of course refused, so Pippin had to look like an idiot on his own.  
  
"I hate golf," Merry stated.  
  
"Me too! I don't see why Cotton got so mad," Pippin said, agreeing with his cousin/best friend.  
  
"I know! I didn't even let go of the club that time!" Both hobbits went quiet and stared into space as they had a flash back.  
  
**FLASH BACK  
**  
Merry swung his club and since this time he didn't let go of it he flung forward with the club and landed face first on grass.  
  
**FLASH BACK OVER  
**  
"Get off the road!" Both hobbits ended their flash backs when some old hobbit lady yelled at them from her 4X4. The two had accidentally gone off the sidewalk and onto the highway.  
  
"What do you want to do next week?" Pippin asked.  
  
"The same thing we do every day, Pip. Try to take over the world—I mean try some new activities!" Merry corrected himself. Aragorn's stupid cartoons were starting to get to him.  
  
"Oh, okay," Pippin agreed. "Want to make Fruit Loop necklaces when we get home?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
It was around super time and Sam was in the kitchen cooking up some grub while Merry and Pippin sat at the kitchen table making Fruit Loop necklaces and telling everyone about their day. Since they were in the kitchen, Sam had to at least pretend to be listening, Gandalf was listening (and singing along) to "Baby Got Back" on his walkman and Legolas was drinking a can of diet coke above the sink. Yes, the elf had a strange problem about drinking coke; it had to be diet and it had to be over a sink.  
  
"So Cotton Me-Arse was teaching us and—"  
  
"Who's caught on your ass?" Legolas asked.  
  
"What?" "You just said 'He's caught on my ass'," Legolas said, clearly irritated with the hobbit.  
  
"No he's Cotton Me-Arse, our teacher," Pippin corrected the elf.  
  
"Who's caught on whose ass?" Hungry Hobbit asked as she stepped into the Fellowship's kitchen.  
  
"Who the hell are you?!" Legolas asked, freaked out that a girl dressed in a pink bunny suit just walked into his kitchen.  
  
"Leggy!" Hungry Hobbit shrieked and pounced on the elf.  
  
"Aaah!"  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Review and let me know what you think!


	3. The one where Gandalf has a factory and ...

A/N: Heya! My computer has been so screwed up these past couple of months and for some reason Life as a Fellowship was taken off of Fan Fiction! :( But now the whole gangs back, including Haldir! (yay!) This chapter is kind of short but don't worry it'll be longer next time.  
  
I also wanna say that the idea to bring Haldir into the home of the Fellowship was not mine originally. I got the idea from another fic called **The Fellowship and the Elf Next Door** by **Lamoo**. Go read it! It's really good!

**Life as a Fellowship**  
****

**Chapter 3**: The one where Gandalf has a factory and Haldir appears  
  
After a very strange afternoon, everyone was now more or less passed the strange event that occurred in the fellowship's house. Hungry Hobbit, the author, was sitting at the kitchen table with Merry and Pippin making Froot-Loop necklaces using Legolas's dental floss.  
  
Gandalf appeared in the kitchen, holding something behind his back.  
  
"I figured out what I'm going to do with my life," the wizard announced.  
  
"You mean besides a superstar, astronaut, starving artist, a dog, Paris Hilton, foot doctor, hand model, belly dancer, international spy _and_ a rock?" Aragorn pointed out.  
  
"Yes!" he answered, completely oblivious to the man's sarcasm. The wizard held up a sign that said 'I SCREAM' on it. Everyone looked at him blankly. Long moments passed.  
  
Very long moments passed.  
  
Very, very long moments passed.  
  
A cricket can be heard in the background.  
  
"What is it?" Merry finally asked.  
  
"I want to open an ice cream store!"  
  
"Why does your sign say I SCREAM—"It suddenly occurred to Aragorn that this was in fact Gandalf so it actually made _a lot_ of sense. "You need a lot of money to open store."  
  
"Yea, and you're not borrowing anymore money from me. You still haven't paid me back the money I lent you to buy that factory," Legolas said.  
  
"Gandalf has a factory?"  
  
"_Secret_ factory," Gandalf said glaring at the elf. "And I don't need anybody's help! I'll make the money on my own!"  
  
"Okay, whatever," Aragorn sighed and went back into the TV room and fell asleep on the couch.  
  
&&  
  
Frodo quickly ran back to his room after he had quickly gone to the bathroom before Sam had a chance to see him. Frodo couldn't take another one of Sam's hugs. He shuddered at the thought.  
  
He stepped back into his Little Mermaid themed room and screamed at the sight before him. There was Haldir, sitting on his bed, rocking back and forth, wrapped in sleeping bag, wearing one of those long weird winter hats, and holding none other then the little mermaid herself.  
  
Frodo ran out of his bedroom, but then remembered his life long companion and decided to go back for his stuffed friend. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed a few toothbrushes and then returned to his bedroom and began throwing them at the psychotic elf. Unfortunately the hobbit couldn't aim, so he decided to leave Ariel behind.  
  
Frodo ran into the TV room, his freaky big blue eyes (which aren't contacts by the way :)) glowing, creepily said,  
  
"I see dead people." Everyone looked at the hobbit like he was insane. "I saw Haldir."  
  
"Haldir's not dead!" Aragorn stated.  
  
"Oh, well then I just saw Haldir."  
  
"Frodo, Haldir is in an insane asylum. He won't be out for a very long time," Legolas said smugly, since it was indeed he who sent him there.  
  
"But I saw him! He's in my room!" Frodo insisted.  
  
"_Sure_..." said Aragorn and took a gulp of his beer.  
  
"I believe you Frodo," Hungry Hobbit said. Frodo looked at the crazy girl in the pink bunny suit and looked around for any other support...anything would be better then the bunny.  
  
"I'm not insane!" Frodo screamed and ran back to his room, closely followed by Sam. He swung open his bedroom door and there was Haldir, standing at the doorway, still wearing the weird hat and the sleeping bag and _still_ holding tightly onto the Ariel.  
  
"Aaah!" the two hobbits screamed and soon Haldir joined them. Everyone in the house ran over to see what was going on.  
  
"Haldir?" Legolas squeaked.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?!" Aragorn said. "I thought they'd locked you up for good!"  
  
"They let me out," Haldir argued, a little too quickly for Aragorn's liking.  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked suspiciously. The elf nodded.  
  
"Don't trust him," Legolas hissed in Aragorn's ear.  
  
"Can I live here?"  
  
"No," answered Aragorn.  
  
"_Please_," the elf said and gave him puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"No!' Legolas snapped. Frodo nodded his head viciously and grabbed Ariel from the psycho elf before placed him self next to Legolas.  
  
"Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please." Once again he did the puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Aww, can't we keep him?" Hungry Hobbit said.  
  
"You have no say in this!" The elf snapped at Hungry Hobbit. "What are you even doing here? Get out!" Now she was giving him puppy dog eyes as well as Haldir.  
  
"Aw, come one. Can't we keep them?" Pippin wined.  
  
"No we can't! Haldir is insane and—stop crying—and stupid and—stop crying—and he's messy! And she is just crazy!" By then the crying of Hungry Hobbit , Haldir and the two hobbits (Merry and Pippin) and grown unbearable. "FINE! But Haldir has to stay in the attic and you," he said pointing at the girl. "You can't live here. In fact, get out!"  
  
"Aww, thanks Leggy!" Hungry Hobbit said and pounced on the elf.  
  
"Ahh!"  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Is that a review button I see? Dear Lord it is! REVIEW!!


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